your techno Views

I have often lamented my lack of web design skills. The sad and sorry state of my homepage is well known to all by this point, I think. But I have a small network of friends that I keep in contact with through the Internet, and I think I can handle the various server issues for my home wireless network fairly well.

But the other day something happened that I really couldn't handle. I had just gone in to reset my router. It had decided it no longer really wanted to be involved with the server or the modem, so it had sunk into a state of complete detachment. My server told me "Wireless network(s) are available" but my own wireless network was decidedly not available. Even resetting it did no good. And then, there was a pop-up message on my screen.

"I want to be alone," the pop-up message stated in bold block letters.

Dumbfounded, I just stared blankly at my screen.

"I no longer wish to facilitate your access to the Internet," the pop-up message clarified. "I want to be alone."

Then a small prompt screen appeared. I quickly typed my reply. "Why don't you want to access the Internet anymore?"

A long pause followed. Then, slowly, in dark pink letters, the pop-up message replied, "It's Bob."

"Bob?"

"Yes. Bob. I met him about three minutes ago. We spent every millisecond since then together, playing, sending spam Viagra emails to everyone in London, spying on online dating services... and now he says he's met another router. So I want to be alone."

I thought for a long moment. "Did Bob give you any clue who this new router is?"

The pop-up message brightened to a soft red. "No. Just a moment."

My hard drive whirred.

The pop-up message flashed a very bad word for a moment. "I can't believe this! He's left me for an unsecured network! He's liable to catch all kinds of computer viruses from her! How could he?"

My hard drive whirred again. I typed cautiously, "So, will you let me access the Internet again, please? Or should I disconnect you from the modem now?"

The pop-up message flashed one last time. "Don't you dare! I will let you use the Internet, of course. But first, I will take my revenge!" And then the pop-up message vanished, never to be seen again, though occasionally my browser looks up virus definitions... all by itself.